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Understanding yourself

You cannot change others, only yourself, when you don’t react there is nothing to react to. Changing yourself reflects outwards, therefore others will perceive you differently. When you change so that you feel better, or so that you can do something you want to, this is real empowerment. It is not selfish because others benefit from the self-confident you. The difference to being selfish is when you take action to intentionally harm others. When you care about how you feel, you shine, others want what you have, we all want to feel good.


You are not just a mum or dad, a wife or husband, a brother or sister, a friend or colleague, you are an individual. But you are also not your name, just as you are not a hairdresser nor a banker nor a mechanic, these are labels to describe you by others. You are not defined by the amount of money in your bank account, this gives you different choices. You are not the health of your physical body, this gives you flexibility, energy and physical movement. The I that is you is Individual, it is unique, it is who You are.


When you appreciate that you are an individual, you become aware that you matter, your opinion matters; this develops self-esteem and brings confidence. There may be times when you get angry and feel out of control. If you get angry consider this – anger is a product of the past and you get angry because something triggers within you. You are programmed to respond; your chemistry starts to change, this builds momentum and seeks an escape. What if the trigger was removed? You can find your trigger and you can change your reaction. You can take control of your life.

Who we perceive ourselves to be is largely a result of previous generations for example, the DNA or genes of our parents and grandparents; however, not only our physical similarities but our culture and values are passed through the generations. We are nurtured in ways sometimes to hear prejudices and limitations, to hear the thoughts and opinions of those that care for us as we grow. These opinions were formed from evidence from their lives, often without knowing that they could change. When we hear words or experience actions, they are collated in our subconscious until we are at an age that we can rationalise and reason what is true for us. This is one reason why many teenagers feel the need to ‘rebel’, to veer away from parental guidelines that no longer hold the same values. But are they replaced by the suggestion of peers or others who choose to influence us with their thoughts? So much of who we think we are is founded on other’s beliefs and ideals with very little consideration as to whether it is appropriate for us. If you’re not happy with where you are or who you perceive yourself to be then, you can change.

Every experience that we’ve had in our life is stored within us, you may think of it as memory and yet when you access your subconscious thoughts you can recall what you thought you’d forgotten. Most of this stored information, the filing cabinet called the subconscious, are insignificant a part of the habitual process of living, getting out of bed, bathing, cleaning teeth.

But some experiences hold an emotional energy, perhaps of fear, trauma, anger or even love. The memories are often forgotten or stored and yet the energy impact remains. No one person has the same life experience or reacts in the same way as another. You are a product of your life experiences, the memories, the beliefs, the emotions, the reactions you have which form a belief about yourself. Keep the positive, loving, enjoyable experiences active, but let go of every experience that has negatively impacted you in anyway. Why because energy builds moment in whichever direction you are focussed.


You might feel stuck or feel that you’ve always felt this way, but in many ways it’s not possible for you to be stationary, as each day comes movement occurs, even it is the action of thoughts. Much of your day can remain on habitual cycles that are not wanted. How do we change?  You have already started. Whatever you are looking to change we can support you to find your beliefs, emotional ties and reactions and teach you easy, instant techniques so that you can feel better.

Today you are a result of our past thinking and past emotions, if you feel stuck or want to feel better, then changing the default programming is required. Thoughts are energy and energy is drawn to similar energy. Emotions are energy and are drawn to similar experiences to ‘prove’ how you are feeling. When you have a problem, you don’t have a solution; when you know what you don’t want, release the emotional programming so that you can feel better. When you feel better your thoughts change, life gets easier.   

The Roman Emperor, Marcus Aurelius said,

“very little is need to make a happy life, it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.”

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